the bean...Above: My parents look on as some Turkish women take Harrison out of their arms and treat him like their own, common practice in Istanbul.
I was thinking the other day about how much Turks publicly loved every child and showed it by hugging and touching and pinching and playing and feeding them. Pete and I talked about how much we would miss that and boy we do.
When forgetting that baby touching doesn't exist here, I just rationalize that Americans are crazy about themselves and have trouble connecting with each other, and maybe have a little too much knowledge about germs and the like, and I really miss the Turkish women and young girls who would just snatch my children from me to play with them everywhere we went.
I know that parents complain about "strange" people touching their babies, and I have to always remind myself to tell my animal loving (and therefore baby-loving) 1.5 yr old son to "not touch the baby's face" when he waddles over (okay - he is definitely running by now, but I don't want advance him yet) and is interested in the secret bundle beneath the blankets in the "carrier."
Even with the verbal reminder from me, showing the parent that I understand the unspoken rule, I often get awkward slash nervous voices coming from them saying things like, "Oh isn't that cute...look another baby." When I know in their minds all they are thinking is, "Get away from my baby with your wood chip-mud filled baby so we can go home clean. Why did I bring my child out of his room?"
Is this germ thing for real? Anyone who has let people touch their babies (specifically faces even), has your baby gotten any life-threatening disease from this? I have never heard of such a thing, but maybe it is because I avoid the liable-scared doctors that the American Health care system creates.
I have had 2 chances to do research in this field and in both cases I have had no trouble with people manhandling my children since birth (washed hands or not -- I hear the "ewww gross" coming through your skull and I kindly turn my nose to it). No one got sick or had negative repercussions from my sharing.
The Turks had such a deep love for children, I think since they recognized that having a family is valuable and precious. I think that in the US, a country where it is common to treat money like it comes from trees, we think that therefore things that are deemed "expensive" (children) are really not that valuable since everyone has them.
But they are so valuable. And why should we keep these precious, valuable things to ourselves?
I often think about my own mom who brought us everywhere, all 7 of us. I always thought it was because she loved us, but I think I am now understanding in my old age, that she loved everyone else and believed that children are what you share with those you love.
I think I believe the same thing. Of course, don't we all believe most things our mothers do?
Children are meant to be shared. They are only little for so long and we don't all get to enjoy them when they are young. Let those who can't enjoy their own enjoy yours.
I want to be more communal here. Individualism is only good for so many things.
I do not mind sharing my children with others, but I will make sure that I hand them some hand sanitizer first :)! Who knows where their hands have been, gross! Someone at church once put their finger in my baby's mouth to soothe him. As far as I recall he did not get sick, but I still prefer that others' germs are kept away from my newborns. Once they are about 6 mo old, I no longer care. That is when instead of boiling their pacifier when it falls on the ground I just pick it up and lick it clean.
ReplyDeleteWe, Turks love babies as most people do, but please accept that Harrison is a legend:))))He was so unique to us, fair hair with lovely blue eyes:))))
ReplyDeleteI used to smoke before I was pregnant so I wasn't very sure to take a baby since the smell on me would make it uncomfortable, that is what i thought at least. I don't smoke anymore but i was hesitant to let people touch Omer before he was 6 months old, the period during which he shouldn't have very high fever. But after 6 months it is always nice to let people hold him, since he is 11kg now heheh. It makes my belly rest for some time:)))I still breast feed and I guess his immune system is good enough to avoid many unimportant diseases. Turks,we love touching people, pets, babies. We kiss so often and since we are Mediterenian we really don't have very much distance with people:)))In short, after six months i guess it is okey and good and even crucial for the baby's pyscology:)