Manlier Than Chopping Wood (Oh - but he does that too)

The Man

framed by his boys

from the bean...

Ms. La Pointe and I have decided to mix things up this week and give a man a try at this interview stuff. What about the dads? We thought we would throw the men a bone and let them step up to the plate, but I am not sure that any other man can outdo the one I am about to introduce. This guy is the manliest man I have ever known which is why I married him. He is as confusing as all men are, but he knows exactly what I want and need and just doesn't always give it to me.

I am so grateful to have someone who doesn't give me what I want all the time, but always what I need. What a gift. It is a hard role to have, especially with such a privately emotional and hard nosed woman.

Presenting to y'all (my inner Texan) the only person who somehow gets me (but isn't that the way it should be?), my husband, and currently stay at home dad, Peter Clark.

What are the benefits of being able to stay at home?

The connection I have with the boys from being the primary caregiver. It is a connection that I would not be able to have with them any other way and I get to see the world through their eyes.

What are some of the most difficult moments to get through in a day?

Being the judge, jury, and enforcer for the boys is very difficult and it is constant throughout the day. It is an awesome responsibility and very difficult to balance because it is centered around this idea of fairness. I constantly think about what is fair to them how much to give verse how much to hold back. I have to remind myself they are their own person and have their own rights and desires and I have to decide how to help them develop into the best people they can be. Then I have to approach it in terms of how organically do I want them to develop. What filters and safeguards do I want to put in place that will help them now and in the future.

Did you ever think you would be in this position?

I grew up the 3 oldest of 11 so this is kind of old hat.

What is your favorite thing about each of the boys?

T. Cal would be his self-awareness. He knows who he is and is not afraid to show it...I hope he never loses that. For Harrison would be his fierce independence we could drop him in the desert and find him a week later riding out on a camel.

How do you decide what they are going to wear each day?

(I have wondered this for so long)

Whatever is on top.

(I will start putting matching items on top from now on - so simple)

What is it like going to the park and standing around with the stay at home moms or nannies?

Women at the park usually don't know how to interact with me. They will usually not talk to me and I will not approach them because it would make them uncomfortable. When the boys are behaving in a way that the women don't approve of they are reluctant to speak to me about it. Some will try and talk to me through the boys.

How do you keep yourself entertained during the day?

The kids do that for me.

What is your favorite thing to go do with the boys?

Wrestle.

Would you rather stay at home or would you rather work?

50-50

How do you feel about your wife working?

I wouldn't care one way or the other but I know that she would not function properly if she wasn't working. (Get it - if she wasn't working...)

Anything else? (he doesn't hold back here)

I have tried to observe and take the best aspects from the fathers I admire most and incorporate them into my parenting philosophy. Two examples from the long list would be my dad and father in law. My dad had a hard line that we were not allowed to cross and as long as we stayed on the right side we had a large amount of latitude in developing ourselves academically, socially, and physically.

I was driving alone with my father in law before I got married and during our conversation I asked him which of his kids he liked the most, I didn't get the canned response I usually get ,I love them all, he gave a real answer from youngest to oldest he explained what he liked most about each one of his kids he explained why and how he loved them and the connection he had with each child individually. I tried to take that response and implement it into my parenting philosophy I try to be aware of each of my kids and try to develop a deep connection with that is based on respect and trust and hopefully the fruits of that will be a profound love.

Ladies, ask your husband some questions that have been on your mind, and if you want him showcased, send them to Ms. La Pointe or the bean with a pic and your hubby will be next in line for the Mommy (and now Daddy) interviews. We love you guys.