What Makes a Love Story Believable?

To make a love story work, you gotta have heart. More important: the audience must believe it's real.

~ Pat H. Broeske

Inspired by that quote, I asked my eleventh grade Honors class to take a close look at a relationship - Jane and Rochester's, to be exact - and consider whether or not it's believable. I encouraged them to hold Bronte's famed couple up to a contemporary mirror and allude to couples from pop culture to frame the argument.  The result? Probably the most enjoyable batch of essays on a Victorian novel that I've had the pleasure of reading. Each was unique and made connections and contrasts in a strong, clear voice.  I wish I could share them all; here's what a few of my students had to say*:

Allie:
When I first started reading, I thought, 'It's great that Jane speaks her mind and recognizes how she should be treated, unlike so many characters who know they are being treated unfairly but fail to take action'. This feeling went out the the door when Rochester stepped in. Unfortunately, Jane compromises her identity to be with Rochester and her subservience was a disappointment...
...If you want a believable love story, look no further than Little House on the Prairie. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote the series based on her own life; the relationship she describes between herself and her husband, Almanzo, is a realistic one (I realize, obviously, that is was a real relationship but Ingalls found a way to translate its realism into historically based fiction without losing any of its authenticity). The series captures their young love and its fun-loving nature while revealing later in the series its maturities and difficulties, showing readers that everyday love between a couple isn't always 'fine and dandy' but that two people can respect each other and show kindness even during the most difficult times without sacrificing self respect.

Dan:
Burgess Meredith says it best in Rocky: All true relationships 'gotta have heart'. Jane and Rochester have no heart and their relationship lacks emotional value. It's not just that their love is flawed, it's boring and feels forced, much like that between Bridget Fonda and Matt Dillon's characters in the movie Singles.


Janet (Fonda) and Cliff's (Dillon) relationship is so awkward that is almost ruins an enjoyable movie. Janet is a sweet waitress, while Cliff is the lead singer of Citizen Dick, a rock band (which, by the way, is the only redeemable quality of his character and that's only because the band in the film is played by the actual band, Pearl Jam). Cliff is dumb, dirty and ignorant of Janet's needs yet she cares for him and supports his band, despite the fact that he, for the most part, ignores her.


Hmm. Perhaps Fonda's character is named Janet for a reason, since she plays the same role Jane plays when Rochester invites Blanche and his "band" of groupies over to Thornfield and stages a "rehearsal" of his own.


Erica:
Jane Eyre is a believable love story. Like many relationships, its love story has its problems but it's unhealthy for a relationship not to have complications; Jane and Rochester's problems are what make their love story believable.


Another relationship that is a perfect example of a believable love story is that of Ali Hamilton and Noah Calhoun from Nicholas Spark's novel, The Notebook.  Ali and Noah are truly in love still, their relationship is not perfect but that's what makes it believable: they fight throughout the book and Noah says things to Ali that are hurtful, similarly to how Rochester says degrading things to Jane.  Both couples, however, manage to work things out despite those words and eventually find their ways back to happiness.


Also like Jane and Rochester, Ali and Noah come from different backgrounds.  Ali and Rochester are from wealthy, well-known families while Noah and Jane come from simple, quiet backgrounds.  At first this difference seems tolerable but soon it develops into problems; these problems become obstacles for the couples to overcome and since they do eventually overcome them, these couples must truly be in love.  Moreover, like Jane and Rochester, Ali and Noah are separated from each other for many years, which is realistic and happens often in life.  The fact that they come back together and realize they are still in love and choose to go forward in life together shows that the reality of love is that for some, despite obstacles, there is only one person they need to be happy in life.


Natalie:
Rochester is an abrasive, lone lion of a desolate kingdom.  He has lost all trust and faith in humanity, so much so that he does not connect with the outside world or its rules. Living outside of the confines of social boundaries, he experiences life through what his mind dictates or his body urges.  By following his every whim, Rochester loses all sense of responsibility and morality.  Rochester is, I feel, similar to the television character Greg House, from the show House, M.D. Alone, both are condescending egoists suppressed within their solitary worlds.  Even though each tries to find a substitute for the love he needs, each isolates himself by behaving rudely and is thus tolerated by few.  Both Rochester and House fail to follow societal norms and in turn, life's hardships reinforce their indifference to everything, save their own urges and impulses.  


Even though it is not a romantic relationship, House's relationship with his best friend, Wilson, reminds me of that between Rochester and Jane.  Both Wilson and Jane are nurturing partners who stand behind their morals and attempt to impose those morals on their companion.  Both recognize the weaknesses and wrongdoings of their partner, but still try to bring out only the good and amend what is flawed.  When both House and Rochester find themselves crippled, Wilson and Jane are there to provide relief and support - and perhaps receive a bit of mental abuse, too.  In this way, Wilson and Jane are able to forget their own problems and feel (what is, I believe, more important than love to each of them) useful.


Fady:
The relationship between Jane and Rochester is a classic one that is seen as realistic in the eyes of most readers because it is a relationship that causes the reader to constantly root for its success.  Another realistic example of a strong relationship is the one between Rocky Balboa and Adrian from the Rocky movies.  From the moment Rocky proposes, the viewer believes in the relationship and recognizes that despite their differences, the two are perfect for each other.  Their differences becomes their strength as a couple, as they feed off each other's differences and learn from each other while becoming stronger as individuals.  Rocky builds Adrian's esteem, helping her to become more confident and speak her mind while Adrian helps Rocky learn to express his feelings through words instead of action.  Like Rocky says, "Together, we fill gaps".  Both are aware of their faults and work together to fix them and grow complete; neither can function without the other.  A true couples makes the viewer or reader happy when he or she sees the relationship grow into one that is long lasting and strong.  Like Jane and Rochester, whose love is rooted in differences, Adrian and Rocky show us that when opposites attract, love is not always easy but when it works to "fill the gaps" it is rewarding.


On the other hand, not all love between opposites who attract works to do that; sometimes, it broadens the gaps , highlighting their differences, and is what makes a couple's relationship unbelievable.  This is true for Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger from The Harry Potter Series.  Ron and Hermione's relationship is a mess of differences that never come together.  Ron is lazy, unintelligent, and awkward whereas Hermione is smart, composed, and pretty.  In the beginning of their relationship, their reluctance to speak to each other is understood but it continues as their relationship develops; when combined with the awkwardness that remains even as they grow closer, this reluctance baffles the reader and is aggravating.  This is what makes their relationship unbelievable in the eyes of the reader.


Virginia:
The best example of a modern day Jane and Rochester is Bella and Edward from the Twilight series; both couple's love stories are unbelievable and based on infatuation (on his part) and humility (on her part).  Bella, like, Jane, is a plain, nondescript nobody who gets lucky when the handsome vampire falls in love with her.  This love seems false from the start because their entire relationship revolves around Edward hovering over her, trying to protect her, instead of a revolving around like interests or common ground.  Together, they are socially awkward: between Bella's stuttering and constant blinking and Edward's sparkling skin and sultry voice, the two of them are a match made in the hell of an overly Romantic mind.  Their entire relationship seems to take place in Bella's bedroom while her dad is asleep next door - they never socialize with others and they don't talk about anything important, unless you consider Bella spending paragraphs to say nothing but how cold Edward's skin is.  Similarly, Jane and Rochester are never together in public, only at Thornfield, and when they are together, neither one is comfortable enough with the other to hold a decent conversation: it takes Jane at least seven substantial paragraphs to say "a creepy woman came into my room last night". 

So, what do you think makes a love story believable?

*responses have been slightly edited to improve grammar and readability