above: former nanny and her hubby to be snugging with Harebear
The best childcare in the world is the kind where the person caring for your child cares for them even more than you do. I know, it doesn't seem possible.
The following interview comes from someone so near my heart. This girl not only showed up at my house every morning when I was living in a foreign country, but she really truly cared for my son in that way that a great childcare provider does - I think she loved him even more than I did.
One of my favorite moments was when I discovered that she laid down next to my son's crib while he fell asleep. My heart melts whenever I think about that. The other favorite thing that I remember about her time with my son is when she told me about how Harebear kept putting his fingers in his mouth while he was eating, so she taught him not to. I had never thought of teaching a baby that, but I guess I should have because it totally worked and he is a really clean eater. He can even dip his fries in his ketchup and not get his fingers messy.
Presenting the best child care provider in the universe, Laetitia Buckens:
What are your feelings about having a baby? Do you think there is a right time, and if so, how does a person know?
Are you afraid at all that you have waited too long or do you feel you have waited long enough or that you should wait a bit longer?
I am a little bit afraid of waiting too long. I’m 10 years younger than myfiance and I see him change and become less and less patient and that worries me because if you consider that I would like to have 3 kids I might have to change partner on the way! I really was looking forward to be a mother and last year I think I would even have killed to become a mother. I was surrounded by great friends that have great kids and all I wanted was to share there happiness. I’m still looking forward to become a mother, and I hope I’m not mistaking in waiting one more year, finish my degree and settle in before finally going on this great journey.
How much does your desire to have a child affect your relationship? In what ways?
As I just said, last year I would have killed to have a child! I wasn’t thinking of doing a degree, I was settled down in a nice country surrounded with great friends… I really thought it was the best time to have a baby but hopelessly my partner didn’t share that idea at all. We got in some bad fights on this subject. Although we both adapt well to change, he wasn’t ready for this kind. I don’t think we would have stayed together if he had told me he doesn’t want to have children but that wasn’t the case ;o) Whatever, I’m happy that I took this chance to get a degree and secure my future and he is now taking it into consideration while planning our future.
How do you think you would be as a mom?
That’s a good question. I don’t think I would be as good as you ;o) You gave me a great example to follow. I think I will do my best and hope my child will like it that way. I have many examples around me and many friends to help me doing the best choices and a great partner to help me, so I hope I will not be too bad ;o) Being a good mother is not an easy path and it depends on which way you look at it. I don’t like the way my sister is raising her children, but I also think she does what she believes is the best for them and that is the most important. There is no regret if you follow your beliefs and do your best.
Why do you think you desire to be a mom?
Because there is a perfect little boy and girl on this earth that made me want to become one? They definitively are part of that desire, but I think it also is because I love children. They have that unique way of thinking and learning. I really would like to see a little being become an adult, see him growing up, learning, making mistakes and learn of them. I am a very curious person and kids are so interesting to see growing! I hope so much I will have the chance to spend as much time as possible with them!
Do you feel like you understand what it will be like to be a mom?
That’s a good question again. I would like to say yes, but I know that is idealistic. I do know that children change lives but not enough for it to be unbearable. I’ve seen and met women whose lives changed completely and my sister for example stopped going out and doing most activities because of her children. But I also met great people that adapted and continued to follow the path they chose for themselves and their family. My partner and I love to go out hiking, walking for several hours and of course I know we will have to adapt and change some of our habits, but I want to believe having a kid won’t stop us from doing those activities or even moving around the world.
Do you think you will work when you have a child? Why or why not? Would you want to work or not?
As I said before I would rather not work and stay with my children. I’ve already experienced being a housewife and it doesn’t bother me (I’m pretty good at keeping busy). But I don’t think we will have that chance. Europe is expensive to live in and we still hope to raise our kids where we grew up and give them the best education possible. (Laetitia is from Belgium and her fiance is from France) I still hope and think I will try to accompany them until they get old enough to make their own choices without being too much influenced. I’m really scared to not help them enough to make the right choices in the world. When I see how the world evolves, how racism spread all over the world, I’m really scared for them. This is also the reason I want to raise them in different countries, give them a chance to see the world and make their own opinion.
Do you think you will want to move home to have a child?
No, definitely not! I still think that one day I might go back close to my country, and I hope I might even be willing to live there again. But for now every time I go back home I get so disappointed on the path my country and family is taking that I thank God to live abroad. I don’t want my children to grow without knowing their family, but I don’t think they would have the best influence on them. It’s a hard decision and I might change my mind. I know kids need to know where they come from and family usually have a good impact on the growth of children but when I see my sister’s children and how their close family has a deep impact on them… I believe people try to do their best and maybe my children will be upset at me when they will be older but I really think that they won’t miss a lot by seeing our families twice a year.
Thanks Laetitia! We miss you!
Awww . . . I miss her, too. Great friend and great childcare find.
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